Notes on Heidi

In Heidi, which is one of my dearest favourite songs at the moment, there's a point where the central character is "asked a question that the parents daren't ask". I like to vary her response, and this is as good a place as any to collect them.

• Heidi tells the child she was half-eaten by a porpoise / Piracy is perilous, no treasure's guaranteed
• Heidi tells the child she was a conjurer's assistant / But the guillotine went wrong at the Variety in Leeds
• Heidi tells the child she lost a fight with a piranha / An Amazon delivery that wasn't what it seemed
• Heidi tells the child she was tied down to the train tracks / As the villain twirled his moustache and bragged of evil deeds
• Heidi tells the child that she's been turned into a mermaid / But her tail's stuck in Lost Property at Bristol Temple Meads